he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
