i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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