Its about making memories worth repressing
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
