Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
