i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
