either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize