You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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