so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
