Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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