Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
