I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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