$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
