ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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