My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
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