Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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