was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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