what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
