If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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