I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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