The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
