no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
