He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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