Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
