life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
