He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
