I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
