North Korea, Best Korea!
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I am one with the molecules
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
