I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
