whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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