hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize