Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
