go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
