My sheets look like a crime scene.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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