So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
