did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
My room smells like vodka and shame
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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