It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
