I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
My brain says no but my pants say off.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
