Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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