i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
