if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
