ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
My ass is underappreciated
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
