you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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