Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
i out mim tonsoeep
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
