I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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