Walk of Shame. In a state park.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
