i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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