okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
