It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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