Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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