Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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