seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
