I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
wanna go halves on a baby?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Randomize