Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
