Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
