It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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