I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
