That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I am one with the molecules
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize