I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
