Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize