After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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