Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
