Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I didn't notice because vodka
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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