shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize