It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
She's just so happy...and so naked.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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