Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
They have beer where we have blood.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
